Memories, hopes, and dreams...

One of my dear friends is pregnant with her first child at 39...as I read her blog it takes me down memory lane. I was 39 when I had my first child, a son. I didn't journal during that time, and I didn't blog (was blogging popular in 2000? I don't recall). I didn't scrapbook and I didn't take pictures. I was unprepared at how immediately tired I became, in fact both my husband and I were unprepared for me to want to go to bed at 8 p.m. within weeks of becoming pregnant. I don't think this is too uncommon as I can remember a friend in her 20s who had the same reaction.

I can remember when my husband and I decided we definitely wanted children. You'd have to have known me when I was single...all of my friends knew I didn't want children. My mom used to tell me that was a blessing that I wasn't pining away wishing for babies when I wasn't in a position to have one or raise one. So it came as a shock, almost a betrayal to some of my friends who had always supported my view of not having children (it was fine for others but we didn't want to bring a life into this world that is so complicated and uncertain). However, my husband and I decided, after much thought and prayer, that yes we did want to have children. I started taking prenatal vitamins and we began the quest of hoping a child could be conceived without too much difficulty.

I can remember wondering if I might be pregnant but it was too soon to test. I went to lunch with my boss at the time. She was trying out a new grapefruit diet supplement and she offered me one. I declined, wondering silently if I might be pregnant and didn't want to take anything that might affect the quickly multiplying cells that would develop into a fetus. Five days later the pregnancy test was positive and I was so glad I had gone with my instincts -- my hubby and I were so excited to see the double lines on the pregnancy test -- we called our parents first to share the news!!

Within days my bedtime had moved up to 8 p.m. and my poor hubby was left alone each night to try to find some tv show or video game to occupy his time. No matter how hard I tried to stay awake I just couldn't.

I remember both of my pregnancies (other than being tired) were great. I got pregnant easily and progressed right on schedule. There are other elements I'll write about another time that weren't so great -- but every woman has a story like that.

Well back to the present...I have an 8 year old, and an almost 7 year old (just 2 more days) that need to go to bed...as I'm on duty now. My hubby is on morning shift and I'm on night shift. During the week, he wakes the kids up, feeds them breakfast, makes lunches, and takes them to school. I pick them up after school, make dinner, supervise homework, and say goodnight prayers.

It's time for hugs and kisses...one of my favorite things in life.